humanzee 2.0

May 24

no wait-THAT is marketing. i see what you did there.

no wait-THAT is marketing.

i see what you did there.

now that is marketing.

now that is marketing.

some have the glamourous life. they would be the protagonist in a shiela e. song. me? i’m going to iowa for the memorial day weekend for a family reunion, where i expect i will be treated to meat for virtually all four courses. did i say four? oh yes. have you seen my relatives? they are gargantuan. me? 5’8”, 175. cousins? 6’5”, 3 bills. hands like catcher’s mitts. not fat, just big. so they are true meat warriors: burgers, summer sausage, bacon, pork tenderloins. regardless, i will be probably unfucking the salad when i get back to town.

some have the glamourous life. they would be the protagonist in a shiela e. song.

me? i’m going to iowa for the memorial day weekend for a family reunion, where i expect i will be treated to meat for virtually all four courses.

did i say four? oh yes. have you seen my relatives? they are gargantuan.

me? 5’8”, 175.

cousins? 6’5”, 3 bills. hands like catcher’s mitts. not fat, just big. so they are true meat warriors: burgers, summer sausage, bacon, pork tenderloins.

regardless, i will be probably unfucking the salad when i get back to town.

good morning.

good morning.

May 23

here are some good things that happened today:

  1. i got a $75 gift card to amazon for answering a 20 minute questionnairre about what hosting company i used for reseller hosting.  score.
  2. with this gift card, i am going to put it towards purchasing a memory form mattress, which i learned is comparable to a tempurpedic mattress, but is many hundreds of dollars less.
  3. when undertaking research of this mattress versus the quality of the tempurpedic mattress, i learned that more people find it better for sex than a tempurpedic. first, i’m thinking, “great! my sweetheart WILL LOVE THIS!” then i’m thinking, “wait-this is a criterion for mattress quality?”
  4. (long pause).
  5. YEAH IT IS.
  6. i picked up my pass for sleep & st. vitus. it was still free. i was still surprised about this being free.
  7. and here it is-right before 12 o’clock. and i get to go to sleep. and i am excited about it. jaysus chroist-i am getting old. 

motoroboto: amycottrell: Ahhh, Thrashin’, starring “just your usual stable of David Winters actors.” Yes, this was the same director who made the sci-fi classic Space Mutiny. If that wasn’t enough to immortalize the man, he also choreographed the Star Wars Holiday Special and Roller Boogie, starring a post-Exorcist Linda Blair.David Winters, you do not abandon. This movie holds a special place in my movie collection i remember all the alva dudes were in this. and i think steve steadham tossed some jacks in the pool when josh brolin was skating, which of course prepared his for his dramatic turn in ‘no country for old men’. clearly.

motoroboto:

amycottrell:

Ahhh, Thrashin’, starring “just your usual stable of David Winters actors.” Yes, this was the same director who made the sci-fi classic Space Mutiny. If that wasn’t enough to immortalize the man, he also choreographed the Star Wars Holiday Special and Roller Boogie, starring a post-Exorcist Linda Blair.

David Winters, you do not abandon.

This movie holds a special place in my movie collection

i remember all the alva dudes were in this. and i think steve steadham tossed some jacks in the pool when josh brolin was skating, which of course prepared his for his dramatic turn in ‘no country for old men’. clearly.

via my advice to kevin durant: don’t ever have a baby. this is actually my advice for many people.

via

my advice to kevin durant:

don’t ever have a baby. this is actually my advice for many people.

GPOY

GPOY

(via darth-pyxi)

May 22

“

Craig Sager is wearing the ugliest clothes you’ve ever seen.

He is! Over and over, you’ve watched him — beheld, really; witnessed — and you’ve thought, there’s no way. It’s impossible. These clothes can’t be condoned, and this man is beyond redemption. Just beyond. Not even Jesus can save him. These suits are crimes against color, coordination, and looking. And you’re so, so right.

” —

via

AND HIS SUIT COLLECTION HAS A TUMBLR!!!!

my lunch today? rawvacado!

my lunch today? rawvacado!

breaking bad starts up again july 15th. aww yeah.

breaking bad starts up again july 15th. aww yeah.

good morning.

good morning.